Dan: Welcome to the Fourth Annual Secret Cowboys' Rodeo. I'm Dan Hoover.

Grant: And I'm Grant Cooley. It's a beautiful day here, and I see the governor has arrived, and is walking up to the edge of the corral to throw out the first bull.

Dan: Um, Grant, are you SURE you've been to a rodeo before?

Grant: It's a sport, isn't it? I'm a sports announcer.

Dan: While the first bull rider is getting ready, I see that our cameras have picked out the Bimbo Cheerleading Team from MzDominica's TG Finishing School. This is the first time they've appeared at any sporting event, isn't it Grant?

Grant: I believe you're right, Dan.

Dan: And those are pretty amazing uniforms. I don't think I've ever seen any that were cut that high.

Grant: The first rider is Phil Meeyup. He's saddled on the bull, and he's just given them the signal to open the gate.

Dan: I don't think they're wearing any panties. Are we allowed to show that on TV? Grant? What do you think?

Grant: I was watching the cowboys, Dan.

Dan: Now the girls are jumping up and down, yelling and waving their pom-poms. Let's see if we can get a microphone down there and pick up their cheer.

Cheerleaders: Give me a B... I... M-B-O! A-give me a B... I... M-B-O! A-give me a B... I... M-B-O! What's that spell? What's that spell?!!! WHAT'S THAT SPELL??????

Dan: The girls have suddenly stopped jumping, and started scratching their heads.

Grant: Phil Meeyup stayed on for eleven and a half seconds. Way to go, cowboy!

Dan: "Way to go"? Um... The girls are shrugging their shoulders and milling about. Oh, now four of them are kneeling down on the ground and the rest are climbing up on top of them, forming a human pyramid!

Grant: Isn't it more usual for the cheerleaders to FACE the fans when they do that?

Dan: The fans don't seem to mind. In fact, they're acting very appreciative.

Grant: The next bull rider will be Willy Johnson -- "Big" Johnson, as he's known to his fans.

Dan: The cheerleaders look a little unsteady. In fact, there's a lot of groping going on in that pyramid, while they try to maintain their balance. Heh-heh-heh... Oh! Oh, they're falling! Down into a tangle of bodies on the ground!

Grant: Oh, the humanity!

Dan: Go back to watching your cowboys! Wait, they've fallen into a pattern, with all the girls head to toe. Some of them in a straight line, others bent in big half-circles next to them -- why, they've formed the letter "B"! Astonishing ladies and gentlemen!

Grant: Johnson has given them the signal, and he's out of the pen!

Dan: Now they're rolling on the ground, and forming a single straight line. Now separating again, forming a "V" -- no, it's an "M". I get it, they're spelling "BIMBO" with their bodies.

Grant: Maybe you'd like to watch that on instant replay.

Dan: That's a good idea! Let's see that -- hey, can we speed up the tape, instead of slowing it down? B... I... oh, yeah, this is great!

Grant: They're not the only bimbos around here.

Dan: You know, I spoke with MzDominica in a brief interview before the broadcast. Can we roll that tape?

Grant: What about the bull-riders?

Dan: We'll get back to them in a moment. Roll tape.

Dan [on tape]: I'm Dan Hoover, and I have standing with me, MzDominica, headmistress of the TG Finishing School.

MzDominica [on tape]: And Mind Control Institute!

Dan [on tape]: I understand the Bimbo Cheerleader Team has some very special routines for us today. Were they very difficult to train?

MzDominica [on tape]: Oh, no! They're very EASY to train. I combine various principles of reward -- pleasure, and SOMETIMES punishment -- and other techniques to keep them focused. They learn to focus so much on their training that they simply don't think of anything else.

Dan [on tape]: What kinds of techniques do you use?

MzDominica [on tape]: Well, for example, I show them this crystal pendant. I tell them to look deeply into the crystal. To watch the pretty reflections in the crystal. They are so relaxing. All the little sparkles of yellow... and green... and purple... and blue... The crystal makes you focus, and feel sleepy. So very sleepy. Focused... and sleepy. And then I tell them, "You must obey Dominica." That phrase makes you feel even sleepier, and deeper. "You must obey Dominica." Deeper and sleepier. Doesn't that feel so good? So nice and sleepy and comfortable?

Dan [on tape]: Uh-huh...

MzDominica [on tape]: Deeper and deeper and deeper. Whenever I say the phrase "You must obey Dominica," your mind will become sleepy and quiet, just like this. And EVERY time I say "You must obey Dominica" you will find it easier to slip into this sleepy, comfortable state. Every time. "You must obey Dominica."

Dan [on tape]: I must obey Dominica.

MzDominica [on tape]: That's right. Now, I KNOW you're going to run this tape on your broadcast this afternoon. You're going to want to do that VERY much. In a moment, I'm going to snap my fingers and awaken you. And all you will remember is how much you enjoyed this interview, and how much you look forward to watching the Bimbo Cheerleading Team in action. One, two, three. [SNAP!] Wide awake!

Dan [on tape]: Well I know I'm going to look forward to seeing the Bimbo Cheerleading Team in action, during today's broadcast. Thank you VERY much, MzDominica, for a very enjoyable interview!

MzDominica [on tape]: You are VERY welcome, Dan!

Dan: Wasn't that fascinating, Grant?

Grant: I don't know -- I was "watching the cowboys." Big Johnson's time was --

Dan: Well, I see the Bimbo Cheerleading Team is standing up. All covered with mud, from rolling around on the ground this afternoon. Heh-heh. It looks like they're passing out placards for their next cheer. Let's see if we can get a good close-up of the cards for our broadcast audience.

Grant: Yeah, whatever.

Dan: They're bouncing and jumping around again. They're holding up the cards, one by one, and waving their hands. I hope you can read this at home. "YOU"... Now another card going up. "MUST"... The next girl is spinning around -- flinging mud everywhere -- and holding up the third card. "OBEY"... And now TWO girls, running up from behind. Holding the card low, between them. A really big card. They're lifting it... Lifting it... It says... "DOMINICA." That's it, ladies and gentlemen. "YOU MUST OBEY DOMINICA." Um...

Grant: We're starting to get a flood of e-mails -- probably a bunch of people complaining that we're NOT... SHOWING... THE... COWBOYS!!!!

Dan: The... um... e-mails... What do they say?

Grant: Well, this one says... It says, "I must obey Dominica."

Dan: I like that e-mail. What about the next one?

Grant: "I must obey Dominica." And another "I must obey Dominica."

Dan: I think we need to run the instant replay again. Let's see those placards.

Grant: I think we need to cut away for a commercial, Dan.

Dan: We'll be right back after we must obey Dominica.

Grant: You suck, Dan!

Commercial: Hello, I'm MzDominica. Watch the shining, glittering crystal, and then read My words on the screen. That's right. You will find My words VERY easy to remember...